A few months ago while trying to plan out my household’s upcoming monthly watchlist themes (January Giallo, MST3May) I posited an idea I like to call “Spader September”. James Spader appeared frequently during February (Horny Month), which is always dedicated to lascivious films such as the erotic killer (Call Me), the soft core-ish (Play Time), or the “Spaderotica” (Crash, Secretary). The man loved a smutty film, and we are all better for it. Why not watch 31 Spader films in an attempt to celebrate one of the most iconic actors of our time? Why not?!

Thus Spader September was born.

I am sure you’re saying, “Kolleen, you dumb bitch. There are only 30 days in September.” I AM a dumb bitch, but I’m a dumb bitch who loves a clever bridge from one month into the next. Alien August served as a way for me to get over my decades-long phobia of extraterrestrials, a fear that had me duct-taping my shades to my windows at night as a kid and still fills me with an intense sense of dread any time I drive by a large field with a single lonesome house in the middle (who lives there? And why? and HOW?). After a month of the more serious fare (Communion, Fire in the Sky), the deeply silly (TerrorVision) and the just plain strange (Phase IV, Visitors from the Arkana Galaxy), I perhaps do feel a sense of kinship with those hypotheticals-from-beyond (but would prefer they stay away from my kitchen windows), and I was ready to usher in Spader September with the perfect Augest/September mashup: 2003’s Alien Hunter.

As far as alien movies go, this one is sort of by-the-book. It opens in Roswell, 1947, with some radio signals and a man who disappears trying to track it. Then we’re in the present tense with James as Julian Rome, which is a stupid name. He’s a professor and cryptologist who is sent to Antartica to help decipher this same signal all these years later, as well as check out this thing that’s encased in a big block of ice. Probably not the best idea. He’s also been in hot water for sleeping with one of his students, who of course is now one of the many people working on this project too– you know, for the tension of it all. From there, chaos reigns in the form of goopy alien viruses and typical government cover ups. Par for course; standard alien/government relations. I watched the X-Files, you don’t have to tell me twice.

What’s intersting about this movie is that it almost serves as the exact middle point between the young horny icon James Spader and the older, balder, bearded sexpot James Spader we have now. Not that there is anything wrong with how he looks in 2026; quite the opposite, actually. I would throw any one of my loved ones in front of a moving train just to stand in front of him. And I know I’m not the only one. What I’m saying is the artwork on the film’s poster is definitely touched up. Whatever! Still hot!!!

But as far as films go, Alien Hunter is a perfectly serviceable three star mid-range alien movie. It’s also a perfectly serviceable mid-range James Spader movie. It exists, and I watched it. Some of the effects are goofy now, which I could blame on the year of the release, but then again the Cell came out three years before and that movie looks sick as shit. So really, who’s the blame? If you need something to pop on and kill 90 minutes, Alien Hunter is probably worth your shot. I’m sure you could shoehorn it into your Halloween watches if your tastes skew more towards sci-fi than traditional horror. It’s fine!!!

As for me, I will attempt to do a write up of each movie as I go. I’ve been meaning to focus on this blog, but then my podcast sort of took precedent. Now that the school year has started, and I have a little more time on my hands maybe I can juggle both. I know this little mini diary entry sucks, but I’m not looking for it to be good so you don’t have to tell me!

One down, 30 to go. And yes, Alien Hunter is available on Tubi.