Holy shit. What a mess this movie is.

I have no earthly recollection of this film. I was in college in 2000 but I still felt like I was paying attention to things. How did a huge flop like this (83 million dollar loss?) with such a stacked cast pass me by? Still, I once knew a guy who had never seen Die Hard. Who knows what’s going on in people’s lives.

The backstory on this one is incredible. not Walter Hill nor Jack Sholder nor FRANCIS FORD MOTHERFUCKIN COPPOLA could fix this!

Anyway, we’ve got Spader with dark hair and an absolutely ripped body, looking suspiciously like Topher Grace in some shots. You’ve got Angela Bassett who bangs him almost immediately (all the sex scenes in this movie are like, as they’re floating in space… brilliant). You’ve got Robin Tunney’s boobs 1:46 into the runtime. Lou Diamond Phillips’s face is in them! You’ve got Ricky from My So Called Life and an AI with TikTok voice named Sweetie. Robert Forster’s face melts. And you’ve got Peter Facinelli as the bad guy.

Look. I can’t take that seriously at all. When I see Peter F., I think of Can’t Hardly Wait, when he’s sobbing over someone calling him the f slur. I’m supposed to believe this guy is bedding all these characters and committing a bunch of hate crimes? Shut up.

Also, Robin Tunney doesn’t close her mouth once in this whole movie.

At the end Spader and Bassett escape in a pod they have to share, and instead of merging like in the fly, they each come out of it with two different color eyes… and Angela is pregnant! Ok.

My main takes from Supernova is that Wilson Cruz should have had a bigger career. He’s been acting consistently since the 90s, but I’ve barely seen him in anything. Cast Wilson Cruz in more movies! He’s one of the best parts of this otherwise messy nonsense!

My second to main takeaway is that this movie is perfect for the podcast. So I’ll be planning that next year; if you’re a big Supernova defender hit me up.

It’s on motherfuckin Tubi.

See you tomorrow!