Sex, Lies, and Videotape was new to me this past February (Horny Month). Of course I’ve always heard of it, I just didn’t make any time for it. I delighted it in it the first time, but I don’t think this is a two-time a year movie. I don’t need to hear about Graham (Spader) being impotent because he was a compulsive liar to his ex girlfriend. I dated a compulsive liar and he destroyed my life and sanity in ways that I am still dealing with 25 years later. I know plenty of liars, and have dealt with them with varying degrees of forgiveness or resent. So what if Graham can’t get a boner coz he was a bad boyfriend? Not my problem, buddy!!! And I honestly don’t love his little videotape collection, either. Next!

Here’s another thing: Ann (Andie MacDowell) bugs me in this movie. Maybe I just don’t understand frigid women. I myself have never been what I would call “frigid”; quite the opposite! Also she has Qualley-face obviously, and it distracts me. But like… if your husband repulses you, just divorce himmmmmm. He’s not that great. He’s not even the Real Estate King yet!!!!

Someone I do love in this movie is Cynthia (Laura San Giacomo, who was life-changing for me as Nadine in, once again, 1994’s The Stand*). She’s Ann’s sister and she’s fucking John but she does imply at one point that she’s really doing all the work. Which… of course.

I don’t love that she’s fucking her sister’s husband, for the record. I just think she’s very fun in a movie where everyone is a little closed off closet of a person. Maybe I’ll write about the Stand sometime, man.

This movie almost doesn’t really fit into SPADEROTICA, because while there is sex in it, and sex is in the title, it’s not very erotic. Even the videotape scenes feel contrived to me. Cynthia’s feels a little real, and certainly leads to a great exchange between her and John, but eh.

I know it sounds like I’m ragging on this movie a lot and I don’t mean to be. I do like it! It’s just not really my favorite. I do like it! I promise! But also don’t tell me Soderbergh was 26 when he made it. I don’t care! I don’t want to hear about a 26 year old man who was successful! I have $70 in the bank.

The ending is sweet, I will say. I’ve got hopes for these two crazy kids with the all sexuality of a wide-ruled notebook. Hopefully they can both get over their neuroses and have a nice orgasm. I wonder if that will come up again this week.

Before you ask… no, this is not on Tubi. You’re gonna have to buy the Criterion.

*My late friend, the brilliant Nadine Darling, changed her name to Nadine after this character.