I’ll admit that I’m quite fond of the Office. Hell, I’m quite fond of Friends, too, even though I didn’t get into it until I was in grad school. I like easily digestible drivel every so often. They can’t all be KLUTE.

While it’s quite obvious that the show suffered without Carrell, it’s not as bad as people make it out to be. The more I rewatch the more I’m impressed by how they managed to keep it afloat. And one of the best ways was the introduction of Robert California, our good friend James Spader: a managerial candidate turned CEO whose bizarre and sexually provocative style of leadership was the best thing the writers could have ever done for the back third of the series.

Robert comes barrel-assing into season 7’s finale in an interview where he states “there is only sex” which… yes. That’s true. He talks Jo (Kathy Bates) out of her CEO position and then is lovingly sprinkled throughout season 8, adding a little spice to the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch.

Of course there was not enough time in one evening to partake in all the RC episodes of season 8, but I did watch quite a few and want to focus on two stand out episodes: “Spooked” (8.5) and “Angry Andy” (8.21).

I love a Halloween episode of anything (I also love a Christmas episode of anything) so immediately this one is right up my alley. Here, Andy has placed Erin in charge of the Halloween party. They’ve just broken up, so things are a little awkward between them. When Robert shows up with his son, the kids declares the party to be a little babyish, which causes Andy to panic about it. Angela and Phyllis takeover to make the party more “adult”, and Gabe tricks Erin into showing some experimental film by way of Begotten or maybe even Eraserheed. Meanwhile, Jim berates Pam for believing in ghosts, which pisses me the hell off. I don’t necessarily think Jim is as terrible as people make him out to be, but in this episode he is. Who gives a shit if she believes in ghosts? I have had a bunch of ghostly encounters and I’d like to see him try to make fun of me for it. I will kick him in the fucking teeth.

As this is going on, Robert is sort of taking everybody in. There’s an incredible scene where it’s very clear that Andy and Erin have to talk about their breakup and his new girlfriend, and Robert just sits his ass down after declaring that he has no business in this conversation. They look at him awkwardly and ask if the situation is uncomfortable for him. He respond with “Oh, I’m never uncomfortable.” What a fucking hero!

He also circles the party, sussing out what everyone is afraid of. Some people have typical fears, like snakes or mummies, while others have more existential fears, such as being alone. In the end he uses those fears to craft a scary story for the team, much to their confusion. The way he says “… for they were mummies” lives rent free in my brain and I say it constantly. God bless this man!

“Angry Andy” deals with the aftermath of Andy, leaving for Florida to find Erin and tell her he’s actually in love with her after all, which seems like a real pain in the ass if you ask me. In the interim, Nelly has taken over his position, and now he wants it back. She refuses, and that’s what the entire episode deals with. What’s incredible about it is that the stress of the situation has rendered him impotent, and Aaron confides in Dwight about this which eventually makes its way back to Nelly and Robert. What do they do? They have a whole work meeting about it. There are too many great one-liners to depict here in this write up, so I’ll give you this: in a talking head, Robert says, delighted, “I almost didn’t come in today!” It’s so fucking good! An entire episode where Spader is just on fire the entire run time.

I love you, Robert California. I love you so much!!

I don’t know if this is on Tubi. You either watched the Office or you didn’t. Figure it out yourself.